Tag: fiction

So this last go round, I chatted for a long time with a guy on Facebook dating. We were aligned politically and religiously, so no problems there. He seemed very cautious about taking the time to get to know each other before we got off the site and exchanged phone numbers. And even after that, it was a while before we decided to meet up for a date. But I noticed that he kept dropping what I called information “bombs”.

These “bombs” were about his former wives and his health. Now, at this age, we all come with some baggage in the emotional department and some health issues. But this dude had more than his fair share of both. So, even though I liked him personally, I was a little leery of his background with his ex-wives and the emotional damage they had caused him, his reluctance to seek therapy related to that damage, and his somewhat severe health problems (and who knows what he hadn’t told me about yet?).

By this time, several months had passed and we had met a couple of times. We met for dinner and hung out for a few hours the first time, and the second time went out on some country roads to try and catch the northern lights, which never reappeared. We tried to settle on a third date to go out for barbeque but he kept feeling ill. Then he came up with the idea of a day trip to see some local geological scenery and we agreed on a date and time. This time I felt ill the day before and decided to cancel that night. I texted and said that I didn’t feel well and wasn’t sure that I was up for a day trip where I would be in a car all day long with little access to restrooms. He said that was fine and he understood. But then he made a remark that he thought I didn’t want to go because I was “nervous”. I said no, I thought it was because of the foods I had been eating or maybe the medication I was taking was disagreeing with me. Then we both agreed we needed to work on getting healthier and we would try it another time in the future.

So, the next day rolls around and I do the usual and don’t get up until very late. There’s no text from him. I go about my day and don’t hear from him. He doesn’t check to see how I am feeling, which I thought was odd and not very thoughtful. The day goes by and still I don’t hear from him. Then the next day goes by and I’m thinking…is this a game? Is he waiting for me to contact him? Because if he is, he’s got a long wait coming because to be honest, I’m not sure I care that much if I hear from again with all the problems he seems to have. I wouldn’t have minded being friends with him but I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be anything more than that with him but I hadn’t decided yet. But I guess that decision had been taken from me as the days went by and still no word from him.

Still it was hurtful to be ghosted and dumped for no reason when all I had done was say I wasn’t feeling well and wanted to postpone a day trip until another time. He was the one who had canceled several times because he had been having some major health issues the week before that were serious enough he thought he might need to go to the ER. In a way, it was a relief, but can’t we think of better ways at the age of 60+ to deal with ending a beginning relationship than to just ghost someone? Or is that just how it is going to be? We’ll all just act juvenile, like teenagers, because it is easier than saying “I don’t think this is going to work out; have a nice life”?

Now, I know I have taken the easy way out too, blocked someone who has been rude to me, taken things too far too fast, ghosted others as well. But I do think as human beings over the age of 60 we should be able to come up with a better way of saying that this isn’t going to work for me and I wish you the best. It would be better than saying nothing at all and leaving that person wondering what the hell they did to deserve that kind of treatment