Feminist Women Are Scary

Asking Men Out

I don’t know if I am just too impatient or what, but I am actually on a dating website because I want to meet someone, not because I want to spend days, weeks, even months, chatting with someone. If you are on a dating website, doesn’t that mean you actually want to go out on a date with someone? Meet them at some point?

If You Lak-a-me Lak I Lak-a-you

I figure, if you have chatted for a week or so and gone through the list of things that are important to you, like are you compatible about things like religion, politics, zodiac sign, morning or night person, sports or no sports, type of music, active or couch potato, types of movies you like to watch, that sort of thing, then the next step is to talk on the phone. Then, if possible do something like face-time them, either through an app like Messenger or whatever works for you so you can actually see the person’s face/body expressions, and hear their voice. You can tell a lot about a person from that. Do that a few times to get a better feeling for that person. If you have made it that far (and believe me! getting that far is difficult enough for me!) then surely, it is time to make a date!

Just Do It!

The feminist in me, says I have no problem in putting it out there. I like you, you like me, let’s meet! Whoa!!! Says the man, hold up there! Did you just break the rules and ask me out? Or ask if we could meet? That’s not the way it is supposed to go! I’m supposed to ask you out! I don’t like this! No way, Josephina! And they suddenly go cold or disappear.

Why is that so threatening to the male ego? Wouldn’t it be flattering to be asked out? It is to me? But I’ll be hanged if I am going to sit around and wait for weeks or months for you to ask me for a phone number to call me or for you to ask me out on a date. Because so far, the batting average has been very low. I wait and I wait and I wait and nothing happens. In fact, many times, you just slag off and disappear and I never hear from you again because you haven’t got the balls to even call me much less actually take me out for a date. Then WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ON A DATING WEBSITE IN THE FIRST PLACE??!!

Oh and it gets worse the farther you live away from me. Just think, if you live in a town that is 2 hours drive away, how much more that is going to complicate things. How are we supposed to coordinate a date now? Do you come to me? Do I come to you? Do we meet somewhere in the middle? And how safe is that? If you meet somewhere halfway, how do you protect yourself when you have never met this person and maybe have only talked to them on the phone and have hopefully at least face-timed them so you know what they look like in real life. But how well do you really know them? How good of a judge of character are you? Do you take someone along with you as a sidekick on your first date, just in case? Yeah, that’s romantic. They might turn out to be the one and you just turned up with your best friend in tow.

Let’s take my case right now. I’ve been talking to this one guy, who lives a couple hours drive away, for a few months now. So far, we’ve never talked on the phone because the only phone he has, apparently, is a work phone and he is reluctant to use it to call me. Yet, he uses it for a dating app? Explain that to me! We’ve talked about meeting, but his work schedule is nuts and he hasn’t had a day off for a long time and he works nights right now. He has to get time off approved ahead of time, but so far has made no effort with me to schedule such a time off so we could meet.

I decided today, that I have had enough with the stalling. Either put up or shut up. Ask for that time off, call me and talk to me like you mean it or forget it. Put some effort into it, man, or be alone the rest of your life. I got better things to do than to sit around here waiting for you to get online and decide you have time to talk to me!!

Because I’m Worth It, Dammit!

Once again, I find myself playing the damn woman’s game of giving too much of herself to a man who can’t be bothered to stir himself to put forth the effort it would take to start a real relationship that might require some work on his part. Well, screw that. I have invested enough time and energy into this and it has gone nowhere. Time to move on if he is not willing to put anything more into it than he has so far. From now on, you guys have a time limit. If you don’t move things along and I make a move and it scares you, then I am moving on and not looking back. It’s just not worth the angst I have been causing myself over it, tormenting myself over the whys and wherefores of how you operate. I will never understand it, so why waste my valuable time? I’m worth way more than that.