Hiatus Time Is a Good Time for Reflection

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Usually after I get ghosted or something doesn’t work out on internet dating, I just dust myself off and get right back in there. But this time, this time was different. I was angry and hurt and a bit disgusted with myself that I got taken in by this guy, regardless of the red flags I had seen along the way. How many times do I have to go through this to learn my lessons? How many hard knocks do I have to take to figure out that these guys are playing me? How many passes do I have to give these guys to realize that they are lying to me and are incapable of providing the kind of warm loving relationship I want? I just keep fooling myself again and again, giving them chance after chance. And then I just feel stupid.

So, I rested a couple of weeks and didn’t respond to most of the bozos that sent me the usual come-ons. The past couple days, I started up a few of conversations just to test the waters, not really trusting any of them, or myself or my judgment (which is what happens every time after a colossal failure). I scrutinize every word and nuance to see where they might be lying to me. One guy is supposedly in my town, so we’ll see how that pans out. Another guy that was in my town talked to me just a little bit before asking me for my phone number and when I told him I didn’t give it out that soon, although saying it was fine, quit talking to me and hasn’t contacted me since. The one that has talked to me the most I am almost certain is some kind of catfisher. He has no fixed address, claims to be a contract manager that moves around so much on the job that he sold his home. He asked the series of questions that a catfisher tends to: what is your job, do you live alone, what is your favorite color (only he spelled it colour), do you have kids, what has been your longest relationship. Then he asked for my phone number because he doesn’t get on the website that often because he is so busy. Buddy – there is a phone app! It’s just like texting. The only thing it doesn’t have is talking on the phone and I’m not ready to talk to you on the phone yet anyway! And if you are that interested – make time! Not my problem!! I’m not giving a complete stranger I just started talking to, of no known address, my phone number! Why is that so hard to comprehend??? And he acted sort of offended. Poor baby – boo-hoo! At this point I could care less if I hear from him again, as he is not even in my area, so why the hell do I care anyway??

No Ladies – Those Sugar Daddies Aren’t Real!!

The one that I heard from that kills me is another one that wants to be my sugar daddy. I am going to quote this one word for word for you because I actually took a picture of it and saved it for posterity.

“Hi beautiful I don’t know what your attitude really look like but to be honest I would love (heart emoji) you to be my sugar baby and I’ll take care of your needs,rents and also pay you $4000 as your weekly allowance via PayPal”

My response? Fuck off And I reported him and then blocked his ass. Who has that kind of money??!! I remembered to save his details this time, so I have his picture and his details this time. I wonder if the guy actually exists and lives in my home town like his profile says. I doubt it. I doubt it is the person with that picture. I wonder if it is some white slave thing to scam old white women or something. I’m almost tempted to turn it into the police but I don’t want to take the time. But it is like the third one I’ve received in the last month and this one has actually had a dollar amount listed in it. It’s kinda scary. I hate to think of other women my age getting taken in by that sort of scam. Who knows what might happen to them. Please ladies – do not let this be you!!

Where Do I Go From Here?

That is the big question, isn’t it? Where do I go from here? I am sick of the weirdos on POF and the scammers and the liars, and the cheaters and the chickenshits who are too afraid to actually get out there and date or who are actually married, so they really can’t date or who are actually married and tell you that, so you wouldn’t date them anyway. And Match.com seems to be full of guys who are too full of themselves to actually want to date someone like me who is just a normal woman, not someone who is trying to act like she is still 43 instead of 63. No, I’m not into hiking and biking, and running, and skiing, and trekking in Tibet for gawd’s sake. I’m older and wiser now and I’ve had my fill of that stuff and want to live life at a slower and more comfortable pace. I thought about using an app like Tinder because at least the men on there are supposed to be ready to meet up with someone and that is what I want, but it is also supposed to be all about hooking up and I do want more than that and that could be very dangerous for a gal my age. Or a gal at any age. So, what do I try next??? Guess I still need to do some research. And still do some more licking of my wounds.