How Soon Do You Swap Information?

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When is it appropriate to exchange phone numbers in the process of online dating?

This is a biggie. And one I have regretted giving out too soon over and over and over again. To the point I have seriously been researching and thinking about getting a pay-as-you-go burner phone just for internet dating. That way, I have a phone that is not in anyway associated with my personal information and I can give it to some joker on the internet dating website without worrying about if he turns out to be a hacker that can get any of my personal data.

Use Hangouts Or Some Other Platform to Chat

But how do you know if that person is trustworthy or if it is safe to give out your phone number? One option I have used in the past is to use Hangouts on Google as a different platform to chat on if they say they want to get off of the dating website. It has more options for sending pictures, memes, songs, and even has a way that you can call each other, although I have never found anyone to try that option with and had it actually work. You can set up a gmail account that is totally sterile – one that is not linked to your personal information in any way. I have one that I use just for that purpose and so far it seems to be clean. It has kept the hackers from getting further, as far as I know. The ones who aren’t serious about a relationship seem to disappear, at any rate, when data is what they are after and they can’t get any.

Sometimes you get a feel for the person (or so you think!) and so you take a chance and say, why not? So you exchange phone numbers and you chat with that person and hope that it leads to – gasp! – a real date in person!! Or like I was saying last week, a dead end and for no discernible reason, you get ghosted and you are left scratching your head, wondering what just happened. And you have another phone number and name in your phone book that months later you will scroll by, and wonder, who is that? I have taken to writing notes about the person and the date I added them to my phone and a few small details about them to try and spark a memory. I leave them in my phone in case they ever try to contact me in the future. Because, believe it or not, it does happen. I had some guy text me the other day and, apparently, I had deleted him because I have no idea who it was, only that it was an in-state area code. White pages did not reveal who it was though, so, I am still in the dark as to his identity. I did not respond.

The person I am trying to date now is being very reluctant to divulge his phone number or to talk on the phone or exchange personal information or even provide a full-length picture of himself. He prefers to meet in person the first time and then see if we have a connection first before we proceed with giving out any of that kind of information. Apparently, he has been burned by doing so in the past. I can understand that, having also had bad experiences in the past, but I would kind of like to see what the whole of this person looks like before I meet him, and discuss the details of our meeting before we meet up as it would make it a bit easier. And a lot less stressful for me. But he is not getting that. I finally had to stop chatting earlier today because it was just getting to me and I wasn’t getting through to him how upset I was with his inability to see my side of things. After all, he could see my full-length pictures on the website and had been willing to take my phone number when I had offered it, but since he never used it, I still don’t have his number. Totally unfair and lopsided and I’m not happy with that.

Weigh In/Feedback Please

So, I’d like people to weigh in on where they stand on this issue. Is it okay to give out your phone number to people you are trying to date? Or would you prefer to just meet them cold turkey with just having a head shot and chatted to them online for a month or two?

I’d really appreciate feedback on the topic. It is a huge issue that I think a lot of women and maybe men, too, face with internet dating. The first hurdle. The second probably being, when do you have sex. Another topic for another day.