So You Fancy Older Women Do Ya?

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COLOR ME COUGAR – RAWRRR

I had no idea until I started internet dating, that being my age was so fascinating to younger men in their 20s and 30s. As I have mentioned before, POF set a limit on the age range you can date at 14 years above and below your age for dating. So, me, at 63, should be limited to dating men from 49-77. Well, if you are say, 26, that limits you to only going after a woman who is 40 so women my age are off-limits on that site, so men who want to date older women lie about their age. Again, right off the bat, I get taken in by a Mexican cutie who claims he is 56 and lives in a town 35 miles away. In actuality? He is 26.

Now, you would think that I could tell from his pictures that he is not really 56, right? But I am naive enough to think that anyone on a dating site isn’t going to lie because what is the point? The object of being on a dating site is to talk to someone long enough to check them out and then eventually meet them in person, so why lie about something as obvious as your age? In his picture, he has a cap on and he has facial hair and glasses and the photo is not very close-up, so I just assume he is youthful looking.

After two weeks of heavy chatting, he realizes that I have still not cottoned on to the fact that he is, indeed, much younger than he says on his profile and we are getting closer and he needs to fess up. But he is afraid, because by this time he also realizes what type of person I am and that I am likely to not take the news very well. And he is right!! I explode and give him all kinds of hell for lying to me. He said that I was the first woman to not figure it out right away and he didn’t know what to do when I didn’t figure it out and he liked me a lot and just didn’t know how to tell me. He knew I was going to be angry no matter when he told me. He kept saying this phrase, which is one I have heard many times since, ” Age is just a number”. What a crock of shit that is!

Well, it’s been two and a half years and I am still friends with this person and I still don’t know why. I think we are co-dependent on each other. But on to other young cubs and why young men seem to be attracted to older women.

If you ask me, it is a passing fad. Or maybe a sign of our times. Are we raising young men who still need their mamas? Are they incapable of fending for themselves in this big bad world we have created? Do they need a sugar mama to take care of them?

I have asked guys who have contacted me why they want to date me. Well, truly, they don’t want to date me or have a relationship with me for the most part. The answers are mostly because they want to see what it is like to go to bed with an much older woman. Like my parts are going to be different or I will feel different or something? I’m just not sure what these guys are expecting. I warned one guy I chatted with that I am old and a bit fragile and since he was young and strong that he would have to be very careful not to hurt me. The answer was that he would promise to be gentle with me. Would he even know how? I wasn’t really interested in becoming a notch on his belt just so he could say he had made it with a 60+ year-old woman, so I politely declined. He laughed and took it gracefully, although he did keep trying for awhile.

I am not a small petite woman either. I am a woman with substantial curves and I have accepted myself the way I am. I am happy to say that one thing that internet dating has brought me is more confidence in myself as a sexual being. I have discovered that there are plenty of men out there that love my curves and appreciate them and that has made me very glad. And to discover that men of all ages are attracted to me has been very gratifying as well.

But so far? My dip into cougarland with much younger men has left me feeling unhappy and dissatisfied and I don’t think it is some place I care to revisit. Ten years younger is about as young as I care to go. Younger than that, men still tend to have children and I do not want to be anyone’s stepmother. Step-grandmother maybe. Even some of the men in their 50s still have children and I think that is why they are searching out women in their 60s with the mistaken idea that we might be willing to be surrogate mothers. Think again! We are ready to be free! We’re looking ahead to retirement and taking it easy, not raising another woman’s children.