SUGAR DADDIES
Recently, within the last week, I’ve had two offers from men who want to be my sugar daddy. I’m afraid I did not stick around long enough to find out what I would have to do to get taken care of but here is what one of their profiles had to say: Well if You were my sugar baby, I would give you weekly allowance and make sure you’re financially stable. I Love seeing people truly and sincerely happy. I like exploring and unboxing new stuffs lol, I’m a foodie, I travel a lot, fun to be with. How about you? I can’t see your likes, text me if you want a response. His tagline is: I enjoy taking care of loyal babies. For conversation starters it says: Tell me you’re a sugar baby and watch me change your life for the better and make life easy for you. I wish I could reach out of more people out here! Yet he is an unpaid member of POF, so just how rich is this guy anyway? How much can he afford to pay a sugar baby weekly and what does he expect for his weekly allowance? And why does he want to pay for it? He gives no location for himself, his pictures look photoshopped, and because I am 63, the man in the picture appears to be around my age with gray hair and beard and is handsome and of average build and height, age says 58 and height 6’1″. His alias is Johnson_daddy678. His message to me was: Hello gorgeous 🙂 are you a sugar baby? My response was not so nice as I told him I was not a f-ing whore and then I proceeded to report him to POF. As I said, this was the second one inside of a week that I received that was similar. I was so upset by the first one, I forgot to take photos of it and save it to my phone like I did this one. One thing about reporting and then blocking someone on POF or other media is that it wipes all conversations you have with that person and you can no longer see their profiles, so if you want proof of what went on between you, take snapshots of all the conversations and of their profile and save it to your phone.
EXCHANGING PHONE NUMBERS
When is it safe to exchange phone numbers with a potential date? I have yet to figure this one out. I have I don’t know how many phone numbers of men on my phone or guys I can barely remember in hangouts or other types of communication services. I have gotten to the point I am very leery of giving out my phone number to anyone. But it does get old talking forever on dating websites too. When do you feel like it is safe to give out that kind of personal information? To be safe, a person really should protect themselves by getting a phone number that you can give out that is strictly for use only for website dating that is somehow not tied to your personal information. I’m not sure how to do that and I need to find out. If I do, I will post that information. Let me tell you why I think this is important to do.
If a person is willing to pay for it, a lot of information can be accessed just with your phone number. Unless you are canny, your home address, past addresses, places of business, places you’ve worked for the past 10 years, family members, marital status, and more can be found out if a person if willing to pay. Good hackers can access that information without paying. And there are plenty of scammers and hackers on these websites. Who want your information to sell to others who aren’t going to use it in ways that you want it to be used.
Another reason to think twice about giving out your phone number is that you honestly don’t know about the person you are giving it out to because up until now, your dealings with them has been online and they can tell you whatever they want to. I know that most of these websites now come equipped with a way you can call each other through the website, but I have never utilized it or tried it, nor has anyone ever suggested using it that I was chatting with online. I don’t even know if it works for the free sites. One suggestion around this might be to ask if they have a Facebook or other social media account like that and do a face call through that like messenger. You can tell a lot about a person through that kind of interface and learn something about them through their posts on that website.
Because you don’t know who this person truly is, you don’t know if they have the potential to become harmful to you in the future. Even if you become involved with them, you don’t know for sure. And giving out your phone number or other personal information like your address is opening yourself up for potential harm. So, be very careful and selective about who you decide to share this information with and when.
THE MONSTERS ARE OUT THERE
Photo by Markus Spiske on Pexels.com
The reason I am telling you this is that one of those men I gave a phone number to and then let into my life, into my bed, and did something that everyone tells you not to do, but I did anyway, exchanged sexy pictures with (minus my face in the picture) has become a stalker and threatened me. I have to say, I never quite trusted him from the start, but I was lonely and horny, and I let my guard down. Nothing about this relationship was right from the start. The hours we could spend together were very weird, like very early mornings before he went to work on the days I didn’t have to get up early for my job and then he only stayed for maybe an hour or so. He only texted me while he was at work, rarely at night and almost never on the weekends, yet he claimed not to be married or living with a woman. His phone was a pay as you go and half the time he didn’t have money to keep it turned on. Yet he had 4 daughters and 3 baby mamas keeping him busy, so that didn’t make much sense that he could be without a phone or voicemail.
This relationship went on for a couple of months like this, and sometimes bordered on the bizarre and a bit abusive too and he always asked for pictures and things that I was not comfortable with either doing or providing. He would back off, but then ask again later. I always wondered what was driving it. He rarely talked about personal stuff, but occasionally would talk about his family. I caught him trying to sneak pictures, which I put a stop to. He made a comment several times about how lucky I was that he came to see me when I complained about the weird hours he came over and how little time he spent with me.
In fact, that was one of the last conversations we had when he left the last time I saw him and I didn’t hear from him for 3 weeks. I sent texts telling him he needed to explain that remark if he wanted to come back because I was tired of that attitude. When he finally contacted me, he said he had been too poor to keep his phone turned on. I said with that many kids, I didn’t really believe him, nor did I trust him. He said he missed me and wanted to see me. I finally sent him a text saying that the whole relationship had been at his convenience and was not healthy for me and that I was done with him. Then he got nasty. He threatened to post all the pictures he had taken of me on social media and tell my work places about my habits. I warned him not to threaten me. Then I blocked him on my phone because I didn’t want to hear from him anymore. What I didn’t realize was that you can still get and see their messages after you have blocked them. Once I figured that out, a week or so later, I went back and read them.
He had tried to get me to call him and when I ignored him, he said he was sorry, that I had always been nice to him and that he wouldn’t do that to me. I think he thought better of it, realizing I could get him into loads of trouble for threatening me. He swore that he deleted all the pictures he had of me and wouldn’t post them. He just wanted to see me again.
I realized that blocking him didn’t actually do me any good because then I wouldn’t know when he was trying to text or call me so I wouldn’t know what he was up to, so I unblocked him even though I had no intention of interacting with him. I would do nothing to encourage him. Because I was suddenly a bit afraid of him. He is 20 years younger than I am and I’m not all that stable on my feet or strong anymore and I live alone. And I had invited someone into my house that potentially wanted to harm me because I no longer wanted to see him.
Almost every weekend since, he has sent several texts or tried to call and left me a message saying he misses me and wants to see me. He has sent me pictures of himself, including the very last one, which was a dick pic. I’m serious!! That’s how crazy this guy is. First, he threatens me, then thinks that because he supposedly deleted all my pictures and apologized, he thinks that he can get back in my good graces and I will actually be stupid enough to let him back in my house. NOT!!
So the moral of this story is, ladies, be very careful who you give your phone number, address, details of your life to. I tend to overshare. It’s a bad habit. I’m not used to hiding myself or not being open and honest. I also have a tendency towards risky behavior, which is not a good mix in this day and age of internet dating. So be safe and sane and take my tale to heart.
Internet Dating at 66 - A Woman's Perspective 